Saturday, January 12, 2013

My Child has no friends ....


  1. My child has no friends. How can I help him?
  2. First off in my opinion: Never force your child to socialize. Most Aspies and autistic people are happy to just be by themselves. Yet as Aspies go through adolescence, most realize that they are missing out by not fitting in. It is at this point in their lives that they crave friendships, yet this unfulfilled desire on top of high school pressure to conform, constant rejection and harassment can often cause clinical depression in Aspie teens. They grow more isolated even as they crave more interaction with others. Young Aspie children often believe everyone in their kindergarten is the same and everyone is a friend. Aspie teens know better.

    Some research shows that the more time an Aspie spends socializing, the happier he is. Aspies can and do form friendships. When they do, research shows that even one friendship will speed up their entire social development. Temple Grandin, Liane Willey and other adult Aspies have written about compassionate people who took the time to form friendships with them and by doing so, changed their lives for the better. But what happens if your aspie teen is not making a connection with these compassionate people?

    Some suggestions are:

    See if there is a group at school that your son/daughter might be interested in. Peer Buddies is becoming more and more recognized in schools world wide. If your school doesn't have this group stop by their website for suggestions on how to get it started. There are groups at schools that are not competitive. That is what your son/daughter needs.

    How about having your son/daughter volunteer. This will allow your child to do something he/she enjoys and also make connections with others.

    I am sure your child talks about an individual at school. See if you can have a lunch date on the weekend. Invite the child over to your house even if it is only for an hour. Make cookies, play a game, go swimming, sit and play games on the computer - anything where the two will interact. Do it again and again. Make it a special time for the two of them so they will look forward to being together.

    It will be a one step at a time doing. It will not happen overnight and do not stress because your child does not have friends. Remember, more times then not they enjoy being by themselves. Good luck.